Yeah,I'm gonna post in English. Why? Because it sounds better,not that tragic as in Romanian. And I don't really fucking want to ”dirty your native language as I always do”,because then,SOMEONE will be upset with me.
This life...is a mess. You all say I have a lot of things to do in my life,that I must overcome this mood of mine. I'm not in a temporarily depression,but in a deep and dark hole of sadness. You know,everything is really upside-down and I can't stand this situation anymore. Again...why? I'm lost. Lost far apart from this Planet,from Earth, from my body. My soul is captive here. But you know what's the real shit? That I don't want to be ”just another person in your life”. I'd love to know from even one person that I meant something to them.
I tried,my dear soul. I tried to love,to feel something good about everything,to be optimistic,but,you know...there's ALWAYS somebody who wants you to give up,or there are other people who pretend to love you,but they don't realize that they destroy you with ”their love”.
And you know how is it to feel something inside you,something that wants to get out imediately? I have this shit of feeling from a while and I just cannot open my soul and let it go away from me. I'd love to.
I can't leave this world,I belong to it,somehow,in an unknown way,but I feel that THIS is my place and that I'm in the right place. That's what a part of me...believes,hopes and wants. On the other hand,my existence here is insignificant and unwanted. You know I'm right,I know I'm right. Why should we lie?
Someone loves me,someone wants me to be happy and someone hopes to be with me. I just have to find that ”someone”. Hope he will come soon to me. I don't really think I'll find someone who understands.
And with all of these things being said,she gives her last little smile to the world that has been so unkind.
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